The Elderly: Suburban Terrorists

For crying out loud, you never know what the elderly will do next. They strike without warning whether it's burning a mule in their slacks while standing in front of you in line at K-Mart or suddenly darting out in front of your motor vehicle on their hover rounds, the elderly are a force to be reckoned with. They've been everywhere and done everything. They've used double coupons on Tuesday when the sign clearly says that they can only use um on Saturdays. Why doesn’t anyone stop them? One word, fear. Fear you say, of the white haired exoskeleton wearing bifocals with pants past their belly button as to show you their prescription orthopedic shoes? Yeah, FEAR! You can't mess w/ a member of "The EL." For christs sakes, somebody would kick the hell out of you if they saw you. They can do whatever they want and nobody can touch them. You see a car driving on the wrong side of the road, first reaction, "WHAT THE HELL! THAT GUY IS A MANIAC!!" Then some lady hears you yell that and says "Leave um alone he's old and his glasses slip off his face while he's driving!" Then a crowd forms around you and you get pelted like a Palestinian till you're bloody for messing with "The EL".