I should be dead. That's right. I should be buried six feet in the ground with worms enjoying their bountiful harvest that was once my body.
I know it's not really funny to think i should be dead and i don't want to die but, it doesnt change facts. I've dated enough pyschos and had enough random acts of jesus vengeance placed on me that death would really seem the logical thing.
Exhibit A.- I had West Nile Virus. No, I didnt go to a doctor. My roommate told me I had it and he worked in a pharmacy and was in the army. SO THERE! I layed in the shower for 3 days. CURED!!
Number 2.-I don't go to doctors. Or hospitals. Just dont want to. I have insurance and everything.
Part 3.-I had a carbon monoxide leak in my house for 3 months. Good thing my windows at the time were either open or broken or, dead. Worst that happened to me is i got headaches which i in turn took as "maybe i should start drinking so i dont notice this headache." CURED!!!
Four.- Crazy girls. People are like, "maybe you just made them crazy." I would normally agree however, how do i drive a girl to pretend like she's gonna hug then wrap her legs around me and bite me like a vampire on my neck? I was fucking bleeding. That's just a taste of that animal, i'm keeping the rest in the jar.
High 5.-Retardedness. I am retarded. I've been hit in the back of my head by a paraplegic’s crutch really hard for money. I got hit by a car,3 times, by a girl cause i wasnt done yelling at her and wouldnt get out of her way. I jumped out a six foot window like i was superman and then in turn fractured my ankle. To be fair though, i could have hurt my ankle a couple minutes before that when i was reenacting the final fight scene from The Karate Kid w/my roommate.
COBRA KAI, NEVER DIE!!!
I know it's not really funny to think i should be dead and i don't want to die but, it doesnt change facts. I've dated enough pyschos and had enough random acts of jesus vengeance placed on me that death would really seem the logical thing.
Exhibit A.- I had West Nile Virus. No, I didnt go to a doctor. My roommate told me I had it and he worked in a pharmacy and was in the army. SO THERE! I layed in the shower for 3 days. CURED!!
Number 2.-I don't go to doctors. Or hospitals. Just dont want to. I have insurance and everything.
Part 3.-I had a carbon monoxide leak in my house for 3 months. Good thing my windows at the time were either open or broken or, dead. Worst that happened to me is i got headaches which i in turn took as "maybe i should start drinking so i dont notice this headache." CURED!!!
Four.- Crazy girls. People are like, "maybe you just made them crazy." I would normally agree however, how do i drive a girl to pretend like she's gonna hug then wrap her legs around me and bite me like a vampire on my neck? I was fucking bleeding. That's just a taste of that animal, i'm keeping the rest in the jar.
High 5.-Retardedness. I am retarded. I've been hit in the back of my head by a paraplegic’s crutch really hard for money. I got hit by a car,3 times, by a girl cause i wasnt done yelling at her and wouldnt get out of her way. I jumped out a six foot window like i was superman and then in turn fractured my ankle. To be fair though, i could have hurt my ankle a couple minutes before that when i was reenacting the final fight scene from The Karate Kid w/my roommate.
COBRA KAI, NEVER DIE!!!
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